You (two weeks from now):Jeff, Jeff, where are those frog cartoons we love to ignore? Where is the next thrilling instalment in your ridiculously exciting life story? We miss you Jeff!
Me (two weeks from now):Sorry guys, I'm doing a real design job for actual money so I can pay the lawyer and the bank and the mechanic and the people in Somerset who are providing my family with a lovely holiday next month.
You (two weeks from now):Ooh, look! Mr Sweeney has posted another adorable animal with a witty caption.
Are you a public speaker who is tired of destroying trees and the planet from which they grow by constantly writing your speaking notes on paper?
Now you can help save the planet with a few simple tools you probably have around the house, specifically:
An iPhone or iPod Touch
A relatively new computer
Here’s how to do it:
Install the Stanza application on your iPhone or iPod Touch
In Stanza Settings | Controls set ‘Lock Book Rotation’ to ON
Install Adobe InDesign CS4 on your computer. (Yes, there are other free software applications you could use, but why go to the trouble when you probably already have InDesign? Also, I find that watching the pink icon bounce in my dock for a month helps me enter a state of creative zenishness.)
Type or import your notes into InDesign
Go to File | Export for Digital Editions. In the export options make sure theInclude Embeddable Fonts box is not ticked. (Americans, this means ‘checked’, not ‘ticked off’.) Also make sure the format for EPUB Content is XHTML.
Download and install Stanza Desktop on your computer.
Open your .epub notes in Stanza and — OH MY GOODNESS! I AM SO BORED OF DOING THIS, AND THERE ARE SEVERAL MORE STEPS. JUST FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF AND STOP HAVING NOTES ON PAPER. PUT YOUR NOTES ON YOUR IPHONE. NEVER MIND THE PLASTIC AND EXOTIC MATERIALS AND THE ENERGY USED IN MANUFACTURING AND SHIPPING THE PHONE, YOU ARE NOT USING PAPER. YOU ARE PAPERLESS. YOU ARE TOTALLY SAVING THE PLANET!
Anyway, I tried it, and it works, and it’s way better than scrolling through notes that are constantly changing orientation as you move dramatically about the stage, and this is how I’m doing my notes from now on.
A while back I said I was going to do a specific thing with my birthday money. I’m pretty sure it’s been the only thing on your mind. I didn’t come up with any brilliant ideas, so the money’s been sitting in a cupboard since November. Today my family and I spent it. We went and bought a bunch of food for Cymru Community Foodshare. It wasn’t amazing or revolutionary, but it was a fun and useful thing to do together.