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September 2009

29 posts

“I’m interviewing The Great 48 Twits Illustrated Giveaway winner, @wryredhead/hoppypoppy, by email! Be patient though. We’re in very different timezones, and she’s in moving hell* with only phone email.” —*I’m pretty this means that she’s moving to a new home, not that she’s involved in some kind of satanic roadshow.
Sep 30, 2009
Sep 28, 2009
Play
Sep 28, 20093 notes
#twits illustrated
My son has just drawn a name out of the hat. And the winner is...

…going to have to wait until I read him his bedtime story and edit the video.

Sep 28, 20093 notes
Sep 28, 2009
Sep 28, 2009
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of entry time. I will present the winner of The Great 48 Twits Illustrated Giveaway slightly less than twenty-four (24) hours from now. I’d stick around and chat about all the excitement, but it’s wine-with-the-wife o’clock.” —
Sep 27, 20094 notes
Twits Illustrated 48, starring Non Sequiturific

Perhaps Jack was destined to be a dull boy, regardless of his work/play ratio. —@nonsequiturific

Sep 27, 200910 notes
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@nonsequiturific #brushes #pogo sketch
“And now I’m getting to work on Twits Illustrated 48. You have about four hours left to enter The Great 48 Twits Illustrated Giveaway.” —Me
Sep 27, 20091 note
Sep 27, 2009
#twitsketch
Sep 26, 20098 notes
Making it up as I go

Last night I thought of some new rules for The Great 48 Twits Illustrated Giveaway. Here they are:

  • Within twenty-four (24) hours of the prize draw, the winner must supply me with his or her email address via Direct Message on Twitter, Facebook or some other identity-verifying form of communication. If the winner does not contact me or reply to my attempts at contact within twenty-four (24) hours of the prize draw, a new winner will be drawn.
  • In order to claim the prize, the winner must agree to do a short IM or email interview with me. (This rule is dripping with awesomeness.)
  • The winner must commission his or her illustration by Saturday 15 November 2009.
  • I make no guarantees that the winner will like their illustration. On the other hand, I am, as well as a home-schooled religious wingnut, an award-winning graphic designer, sort of, and fairly decent at taking things seriously and making clients happy.
  • I get to show the illustration to the rest of the world after it is delivered to the winner.

Also,

  • The winner must host a presentation by me in their home that is attended by at least five (5) of their closest friends. In this presentation I will give you, the Winner, the opportunity to join my multi-level marketing partnership distributing exciting new ‘vitamins’ that may cure cancer and dandruff. If you sign up on the evening of the presentation, you will given FREE access to £750 worth of ONLINE TOOL SOFTWARE that will enable you to take your vitamin business to the marketplace of the future: The Internet (also called the ‘web’ or ‘viral marketing’).
Sep 26, 2009
Hey, US government, I got your transparency right here

Here’s the list of who is entered in The Great 48 Twits Illustrated Giveaway. I will update it everyday. A bunch of you could easily treble your entries, and you really should because Jason Sweeney and baileygenine have nine (9!) entries each. Also, if you notice any mistakes, please let me know.

> Important note: If you ‘like’ this post, it only means you like lists or something. To enter the giveaway, you have to like the post titled: In which I shout: ‘ENTER NOW! WIN BIG!’ and put numbers in parentheses <

  • giromide/bananacasts - 3
  • CcSteph - 1
  • shoesonwrong - 3
  • ivegotzooms - 3
  • tj - 1
  • yayaa - 3
  • wryredhead/hoppypoppy - 3
  • arjunbasu - 3
  • sween/atsween - 9
  • badbanana - 2
  • baileygenine - 9
  • eoporto - 3
  • rafitorres - 1
  • qikipedia - 1
  • katefeetie - 1
  • zolora - 3
  • luckyshirt - 1
  • CranberryPerson/suburbanreport - 6
  • superfantastic - 1
  • secretsquirrel - 1
  • emilybrianna - 1
  • munki - 1
  • vmarinelli - 6
  • tinybuddha - 1
  • smartasshat - 3
  • serafinowicz - 1
  • phillygirl - 1
  • sniffyjenkins - 1
  • HotAmishChick - 1
  • emdot - 5
  • IsJonas - 1
  • gordonshumway/J-Money - 1
  • apelad - 1
  • melissapierce - 1
  • aedison - 1
  • riebschlager - 1
  • megelizabeth - 1
  • mayafish - 1
  • redcloud - 1
  • monkeyfrog - 1
  • insooutso - 1
  • donchiefnerd - 1
  • leehoughton - 1
  • sista_flapjack/daniellei - 1
  • lorraines - 1
  • inthefade/abigvictory - 1
  • ckilgore - 1
  • roughnightforlulu - 1
  • toldorknown - 1
  • nonsequiturific - 3
Sep 25, 20094 notes
#twits illustrated
In which I shout: ‘ENTER NOW! WIN BIG!’ and put numbers in parentheses

The time has come. The first four dozen (4 × 12) Twits Illustrateds are nearly finished. The prize draw is starting…

…now.

The prize, as you may remember, is an Original Illustration for the winner’s wall, their album artwork, their op-ed pages, their mum’s birthday, their dartboard - whatever. They get the full size digital file, and if printing is required, we’ll figure something out.

There are exactly two (2) ways to enter.

  1. If you are a Tumblrer, you can like this post.
  2. If you are not a Tumblrer, you can comment on this post. (If for some reason the comment form won’t load, email me: jqgill {at} gmail {dot} com.)

It’s that simple.

But wait, there’s more! You can have Bonus Entries. Here’s how:

  1. I will give one entry per Illustration to the authors of tweets I have illustrated. If said authors also choose to enter using one of the above methods, they will be given three (3!) entries per illustrated tweet.
  2. If you promote Twits Illustrated with linkage on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, your blog, etc and let me know about it, I will give you one (1) bonus entry. You may promote Twits Illustrated as many times as you like, but you can only earn one (1) bonus entry.
  3. If, by some amazing - i.e. fat - chance, there are forty-eight (48) or more entrants, not including persons who have had their tweets illustrated, in this illustrious prize draw, I will award a bonus entry to the forty-eighth (48th) entrant and also to the ninety-sixth (96th), one hundred forty-fourth (144th), etc. entrants.

Entries may be submitted from now until I post Twits Illustrated 48 (forty-eight), probably Sunday or Monday evening British Summer Time.

Sometime within twenty-four (24) hours of the close of entries I will print all names an appropriate number of times on paper, drop them into a receptacle of my choosing, and one of my family members will draw the winner’s name from the chosen receptacle. I will make a video of the draw and post it here on this Tumblog. I don’t have any UN observers handy, so you’ll just have to trust me not to cheat.

Go!

Sep 23, 200923 notes
Twits Illustrated 47, starring megelizabeth

my neighbors are rockin’ out. this displeases me. they need to stop, or learn how to rock out with more talent. —@megelizabeth

Sep 21, 20092 notes
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@megelizabeth #brushes #pogo sketch
Twits Illustrated 46, starring Chris Riebschlager

Every day is a chance to change your life. Except for today. You are not doing a damn thing today. You are really disappointing. —@riebschlager

Sep 19, 20091 note
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@riebschlager #brushes #pogo sketch
Sep 19, 2009
Sep 19, 2009
Sep 19, 2009
Twits Illustrated 45, starring Avery Edison

Grandma just got a new kidney. But we’re not letting her leave the hospital. Those things lose half their value once you drive off the lot. —@aedison

Sep 16, 20096 notes
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@aedison #brushes #pogo sketch
My cat is not dead, and I am wholly unoriginal

This morning I took this video of Mini the Cat taking a faceplant nap. Perhaps she slipped unknowingly from depression to sleep.

Then I saw this video also called Mini Sleeping:

Then I went searching and found these sleeping cats named Mini:

And finally Mini the Cat again as photoed by my lovely wife:

Though my work is not original, I do feel that I have made a moderately significant contribution to the small but growing sleeping-cat-named-Mini genre of video and photography.

Sep 14, 2009
“So many of us want things all one way or the other, all good or all evil, without the terrible ambivalence that pulses through all things human as inescapably as blood.” —John Michael Greer
Sep 10, 2009
Sep 9, 20092 notes
Sep 8, 200920 notes
In which we discuss a very important matter regarding Twits Illustrated
  • You: Hey, Jeff.
  • Me: Yo!
  • You: You don't say 'yo' in real life.
  • Me: I'm thinking about starting.
  • You: No you're not, you freak.
  • Me: What can I do you for?
  • You: You know that Twits Illustrated you did of my tweet?
  • Me: Yeppers.
  • You: Yeppers?
  • Me: Uh huh.
  • You: Why? Why are you talking this way?
  • Me: What way?
  • You: 'Yo!' 'Yeppers.' It's just -- never mind. That tweet of mine you Twillustrated™?
  • Me: Did you love it?
  • You: It was quite good, but...
  • Me: Your mother-in-law did not approve and you'd like me to remove it from the intertubes?
  • You: No, it's great. It just doesn't look like me.
  • Me: It's not you.
  • You: Isn't it? It's got the same colour hair as me. And the same gender.
  • Me: It's not you.
  • You: But what about that one of J-Money? I'm suure that was her.
  • Me: Yeppers.
  • You: Don't say that.
  • Me: Yes.
  • You: But the one of me isn't me?
  • Me: No. I got lucky with J-Money. It all went right.
  • You: Mine went wrong?
  • Me: No, because it's not you.
  • You: So if you get lucky, it is the tweeter, and if you don't, it's not?
  • Me: Yeppe--er, Yes.
  • You: That one of Adam Koford.
  • Me: Not him. He shaves fully clothed, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have pathetic sloping shoulders like that.
  • You: The one you just did -- Melissa Pierce -- the hair?
  • Me: No! She doesn't have a too-long body, and, even though I haven't seen her legs, I'd be willing to bet most things they look better than the ones I drew.
  • You: You've just totally admitted you are not a good caricaturist.
  • Me: Nope. I explained that I'm not drawing the people who do the tweeting.
  • You: Unless you get lucky.
  • Me: That. Anyway, I don't think of them as caricatures or cartoons. The Mighty Greg Williams has already conquered that niche. I like to think of what I do as bad paintings of non-specific people for the education and amusement of various persons. In fact, I think that will be my new slogan: 'Twits Illustrated: Bad Paintings of Non-Specific People for the Education and Amusement of Various Persons.' Catchy?
  • You: Not catchy at all.
  • Me: Hmm, maybe I could shorten it to one word: BadPaiNsPeForTEdAmuVarioPs. That totally works.
  • You: Can I go away now?
  • Me: Do what you want. You're the one who started this conversation.
Sep 7, 20097 notes
#twits illustrated
Twits Illustrated 44, starring Melissa Pierce

I never get past two during the “I’m going to count to three” threat. Not one of us is sure of what is supposed to happen after three. —@melissapierce

Sep 7, 20095 notes
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@melissapierce #brushes #pogo sketch
Twits Illustrated 43, starring Adam Koford

Got rid of the beard. Pretty sure I saw a bird fly out of it as I was shaving. —@apelad

Sep 6, 2009
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@apelad #brushes #pogo sketch
Sep 5, 2009
Sep 2, 2009
#twits illustrated

August 2009

30 posts

Twits Illustrated 42, starring J-Money

I hate cold, rainy days when the dog and I are stuck inside, each of us contemplating whether we’d be happier if the other ran away. —@gordonshumway

Aug 31, 200910 notes
#twitter #twits illustrated #@jqgill #@gordonshumway #brushes #pogo sketch
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