I’m so glad that someone finally found the courage to speak out about Gerald Wossname. I believe I speak for Spiffers, Boshy and all right thinking British people when I say this never-ending drivel about his imaginary daughter must stop now! Is Gerald a drinking person or simply mad? Whatever the answer, surely the asylum is the only place for him. —Lady Beeching-Twaddlecroft, Dorking
PS Young Master Gill of Lower Backpain has asked me to enclose his rudimentary effort at an illustration of the offending party. The quality is less than stellar, even for such a young man, but as his mother supplies the manor with a sublime lemon curd I was obliged to honour the request.
- You: Are you doing any drawings, Jeff?
- Me: No, I'm writing about how two different newspapers report the same story differently, like I'm a high school student or something. Because apparently this is how you earn a BA these days.
Here’s the thing, guys. I want to be a SUPERFAMOUS art drawer on the internet, but I don’t want to put in all the hundreds of hours it takes to get really good at art drawing. And I’m really terrible at self-promotion and social networking and humans. But I’m an American Citizen and a UK Taxpayer. If anyone deserves underserved fame, I do. So could one of you celebrities please send my Tumblr to Tumblr HQ and tell them to push the famous button? Thanks.